Jason will never admit this to Peter, but every time Peter suggests Jason take up acting, as much as Jason actually does enjoy drama, the truth is, his whole life apart from Peter is an elaborate act set on a stage of a design meant to support a greatness he doesn't feel. Jason has every smile and charming flash of his eyes to the outside world down to an art; some days, he can almost fool himself.
But those days are rapidly shrinking; today certainly isn't one of those days. Jason talks and jokes with Nadia around their usual table. He listens to each of her personal grievances with certain teachers, and he offers all the wise, smartass advice she's come to expect from him as his twin.
His blue eyes shine so bright beneath the artificial lights so as to almost completely conceal the cracks beginning to show.
But Jason can feel each crack; each splinter and each sliver that unfurls the longer he tries to convince himself he can fit into the image designed for him. He swallows from his coke, ignoring the way his throat nearly closes on him.
It's happening more and more often these days. Jason can't help but wonder if it will all come to a head this year.
When Peter doesn't immediately appear in the cafeteria, Jason starts to worry. His eyes scan the entrance to the cafe as often as he feels safe allowing them too; Nadia, thankfully, doesn't seem to notice.
"Earth to Jason!" Suddenly, Nadia's hand is in front of his face, and Jason snaps to attention. Shit. He was staring. "I don't know what hair product you've been using, but clearly, you're using too much if you can't even listen for more than five seconds."
"Sorry, Nadia. Just thinking about track team and certain moves I need to practice," Jason smiles sheepishly, the way he's seen Peter do, and runs a hand through his hair. "You know how it is."
"Yes, I really do," she retorts with a lift of an eyebrow at that statement. "Considering how much running I do myself. Hey, Peter!"
Jason, on the inside, yearns for the freedom to simply walk up to Peter and pull him down into his lap at the table. He wants more than anything to wrap his arms around Peter as they sit and laugh together. An actual couple. But he's also frightened of how much he wants that. So he settles for returning Peter's grin and sneaking in a glancing of ankles beneath the table as Nadia wraps Peter up in a hug.
Jason almost feels like he's slowly choking from the inside out.
"Peter, it's good to see you," Nadia says, grinning bright. "I hope my brother didn't give you too much grief moving in and everything."
Jason shakes his head, hoping the quickness of the motion will be enough to hide his blush.
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But those days are rapidly shrinking; today certainly isn't one of those days. Jason talks and jokes with Nadia around their usual table. He listens to each of her personal grievances with certain teachers, and he offers all the wise, smartass advice she's come to expect from him as his twin.
His blue eyes shine so bright beneath the artificial lights so as to almost completely conceal the cracks beginning to show.
But Jason can feel each crack; each splinter and each sliver that unfurls the longer he tries to convince himself he can fit into the image designed for him. He swallows from his coke, ignoring the way his throat nearly closes on him.
It's happening more and more often these days. Jason can't help but wonder if it will all come to a head this year.
When Peter doesn't immediately appear in the cafeteria, Jason starts to worry. His eyes scan the entrance to the cafe as often as he feels safe allowing them too; Nadia, thankfully, doesn't seem to notice.
"Earth to Jason!" Suddenly, Nadia's hand is in front of his face, and Jason snaps to attention. Shit. He was staring. "I don't know what hair product you've been using, but clearly, you're using too much if you can't even listen for more than five seconds."
"Sorry, Nadia. Just thinking about track team and certain moves I need to practice," Jason smiles sheepishly, the way he's seen Peter do, and runs a hand through his hair. "You know how it is."
"Yes, I really do," she retorts with a lift of an eyebrow at that statement. "Considering how much running I do myself. Hey, Peter!"
Jason, on the inside, yearns for the freedom to simply walk up to Peter and pull him down into his lap at the table. He wants more than anything to wrap his arms around Peter as they sit and laugh together. An actual couple. But he's also frightened of how much he wants that. So he settles for returning Peter's grin and sneaking in a glancing of ankles beneath the table as Nadia wraps Peter up in a hug.
Jason almost feels like he's slowly choking from the inside out.
"Peter, it's good to see you," Nadia says, grinning bright. "I hope my brother didn't give you too much grief moving in and everything."
Jason shakes his head, hoping the quickness of the motion will be enough to hide his blush.