Jason always aims for the image projected for him by his parents. Even when appears to reach it, he never fully embodies it. He lacks the strength for it; he can only hold up so much weight before he starts to crack. So even when he's flashing cocky smiles and giving out firm handshakes, even as he listens to every, ugly word his father has ever said to him, he lets his thoughts remain his own. Sometimes, his mind is near silent; trembling, in fear of acknowledging the ultimate imperfection of himself. Other times, his thoughts are wailing, pounding against glass and desperate to get out. Jason McConnell sometimes gets by only by thinking of Peter and his smile and all the love contained in his eyes. Without Peter, Jason lacks the ability to uphold the Jason McConnell everyone else believes themselves to know.

Tonight, though, Jason doesn't have to dwell on that. Tonight, Jason can tune out the world and focus on the wonderful noises Peter makes as they move together, each increasingly more wanton with every passing minute. Jason eagerly swallows that wonderful moan; lets the force of it seep inside of himself like a warm cup of cider. He groans in his turn, responding to Peter's desperate kisses with heated, sloppy ones of his own. Peter's hand is suddenly tightening in his pocket, and Jason has to pull back to lean against his lover's forehead for a moment just to catch his breath. His own eyes feel huge, when they're not struggling to stay open. He increases his grip, beginning to tug at Peter in earnest as he continues pressing down against him.

"Fuck, Peter," he gasps, leaning down to start nuzzling and kissing his neck. He's so surrounded by Peter, the words tumble from his lips before he even realizes what he says. "I need you so bad."